Married, SPINSTER, Other – Embracing The Spinsterhood.

Bachelor is an affectionate term for a single man of any age – and this moniker doesn’t have an upper age limit, an 80-year-old man can easily be referred to as a sweet elderly Bachelor. It also doesn’t have a lower age limit, which is concerning because bestowing societal presumptions of masculinity, male promiscuity and sexual prowess on children, is helpful to exactly no one.

The female equivalent to Bachelor is Spinster but ‘Spinster’ initiates connotation of an ugly bitter evil Ms Havisham, whilst Bachelor suggests a suave competent desirable Man. Spinster and Bachelor were words initially used in public records to describe single women or men of the age in which they were expected to be married but were still SINGLE. But whilst Bachelor has become a mostly positive noun, Spinster has become the exact opposite.

The acceptable upper age limit of  being a ‘singleton’ has obviously changed a lot since the terms Bachelor and Spinster were coined, and very drastically so in the past fifty years. Whereas fifty years ago a single unmarried childless woman above twenty-five was considered an anomaly; that age bracket has now increased by about 10 years. Now a woman has until she’s a generous thirty-five before the real crackdown of concern begins for her biological clock, shelf life and subsequent life purpose. Continue reading “Married, SPINSTER, Other – Embracing The Spinsterhood.”


Regardless of the Status Update, is Anybody Else’s Life Actually Any of Our Business?

Khloe Kardashian had a #Sponsored baby shower, paid for by Amazon. It’s not exactly like she needs the money, and a baby shower is a personal thing, but she sold it and shared it, and that is essentially what sustains the Kardashian Brand.

But since the tabloid press erupted with photos, videos and stories about her boyfriend cheating on her repeatedly, up to and including the weekend before she gave birth, the media attention commentary on her has been relentless.

Initially I’m sceptical as to who has been holding onto this CCTV footage since October, were they literally waiting till the ninth month of Khloe’s pregnancy to sell the footage? if so that’s gross and cruel, you wouldn’t blackmail a stranger so why is it any different if this person is on TV? Continue reading “Regardless of the Status Update, is Anybody Else’s Life Actually Any of Our Business?”

Sorry, Not Sorry. What’s With All The Apoligising?

I’m British and my mother tongue is English, I failed French miserably at school, and when I went to work in Mexico last year, despite best intentions I assumed I didn’t have the brain capacity to learn a new language in my twenties.

To begin with, everyday felt like a game of charades from dusk till dawn, as I tried to order food or catch taxis, with no linguistic common ground with anyone I was interacting with. This was exhausting and led to me amazingly picking up a tiny bit of Spanish. Even learning enough to ask What When and Why …Que? Donde? Por que?; and then after a while, the lovely little phrase ‘Lo Siento’. Like most of the Spanish language ‘Lo Siento’ is poetic and unlike a lot of Spanish it is easy for a native English speaker to pronounce; it’s said, like it’s read and with a Spanish accent if I’m feeling confident.

I didn’t really know what Lo Siento meant, but I loved the sound of it. I was told that Lo Siento translates to ‘I’m Sorry’, and it wasn’t difficult for me to find ways to slip it into conversation. After a couple of days one of the kids I was working with turned and asked me bluntly, “Why do you keep apologising?” Taken aback I replied, “Oh do I, Sorry”. Continue reading “Sorry, Not Sorry. What’s With All The Apoligising?”

Self-Care isn’t a Scented Soap from Superdrug.

Advertisers are slowly moving away from the angle of ‘You have lots of faults, but our product will help to fix them’. Which is positive, because the core concept of anti-cellulite cream and anti-wrinkle creams are quite literally profiting on making faults out of what natural happens to our bodies… but I digress, that’s a slightly different discussion for a different day. But, if advertisers aren’t pointing out what’s wrong with us so we buy their stuff to fix it, then they’ve got to pick a different lane. A lane which necessities us to still spend our money on their ‘stuff’.

In the current dawn of self-empowerment, self -love and self-acceptance, in response to the shit show of headlines, revelations and presidents which have been thrown upon us, advertisers are keeping up with the times, in doing so they’ve latched onto Self-Care as their mission statement. On the surface this appears empowering and inclusive, but obviously it’s advertising so let’s delve a little deeper.

The Oxford Dictionary defines Self-Care as: Continue reading “Self-Care isn’t a Scented Soap from Superdrug.”

‘A Game of Entitlement’ – Sex and Consent

There has been a lot of conversation over the past six months about sex and consent. But to truly revolutionise attitudes to sex and consent, I think we need to understand and evaluate how much of an affect Entitlement has on how we think about sex.

Entitlement and those who presume it, treat it like a game –

‘A Game of Entitlement’

How to Play – Cross off a presumption of Entitlement on the Entitlement score sheet – and you’re Entitled to do as you please – and feel free to create your own score sheet of Entitlement misconceptions to make sure you stay Entitled!

Score Sheet-

·    The person you want to have sex with is dressed provocatively – YOU’RE ENTITLED!

·    You’ve bought a drink for the person you want to have sex with – YOU’RE ENTITLED!

·    You’ve flattered the person you want to have sex with – YOU’RE ENTITLED!

·    You’re wealthy or successful or powerful – YOU’RE ENTITLED!

·    You are or have been in a relationship with the person you want to have sex with – YOU’RE ENTITLED! Continue reading “‘A Game of Entitlement’ – Sex and Consent”

Living Your Best Life

Living Your Best Life, is a sentiment I hear a lot, on the surface it feels like a positive mantra to live by, it portrays an inspirational lifestyle which encourages everyone to be having  100% of a good time 100% of the time. Not one minute is wasted on anything banal, and every day is an achievement in winning at life.

Those are great intentions, but I think the reality is a little less wholesome. ‘Living your best life’ can feel like FOMO with a vengeance.  If you’re not constantly having a GREAT TIME it can become a bit of pressure cooker for our physical and mental well-being.

We have to take the good with the bad, but my concern with ‘Living your Best life’ is that it doesn’t really allow for any bad bits, or even any mundane but necessary bits like food shopping or cleaning, or having a lazy day which can result in; Continue reading “Living Your Best Life”

Fear and Loathing in my Twenties. Acknowledging Anxiety, Depression and Mental Health.

Jourdan Dunn has spoken recently about her personal battle with mental health issues, in sentiments I can relate to, she said “Everything was a struggle for me. My insecurities had me questioning myself every day” and “I just don’t think I can do this anymore”.

In my experience, anxiety can cause waves of panic at the base of my throat which peak and subside relentlessly, rendering me frozen yet frantic for the minutes or hours until it passes. Whilst depression can rip out all my emotions,  leaving only a black hole of emptiness and self-loathing. 

The pair often go hand in hand, and it makes me feel like a china tea cup on the verge of shattering  into a million pieces, from constantly being heated up and cooled down without break.  Add to that panic attacks which are both immobilising and induce a fear so terrifying I’m convinced that the end of the world is approaching. All of this can cause a myriad of physical issues too, rashes, welts, twitches and ticks.   Continue reading “Fear and Loathing in my Twenties. Acknowledging Anxiety, Depression and Mental Health.”